I fully admit that I am lazy. When I get motivated to do something, I can and will but finding that motivation is hard. I also think I am easily distracted so if I don’t have a to-do list to get through it doesn’t get done. I am probably not the best influence on my kids because the laziness has been passed down for sure. My daughter often says ‘I don’t feel like getting up to get that’ or ‘can you do it for me.’ She’s 13, she needs to be a little less lazy.
Yesterday was my birthday. I told my kids that it was my day and they had to do what I wanted and not complain. It went about as well as you could expect. Even on my birthday I put the kids first. It’s hard as a parent to take a step back and put yourself first. I did get to do some of the things I wanted/planned but not all and I guess that’s good enough for now.
What brings Joy? Loving life, beautiful skies on sunny days, smiling kids. I used to think I was a happy person but I think life has gotten me down the last few years and I am trying to find that joy again. I think the key to finding joy is to remember how blessed we are and to look for the small thing and not the big things.
Last weekend I got to spend quite a bit of time with my new infant nephews. Babies are just so sweet and innocent and lovable. I haven’t been around infants in a very long time and it really is great when you get to hold and snuggle with them then go home for the night. I still get up most nights to check my daughter’s blood glucose levels (it takes its toll on you when you don’t get the consistent sleep) but I do not envy that part of having newborns…and having two at once makes it even more difficult. But that time passes all too fast and soon they move on to the next stage. Some good, some not so great. But in the end you won’t trade it for anything.
4-H: Head, Heart, Hands, and Health. This is on my mind today as I took over as co-leader for the local club and we have a big fundraiser tomorrow. I was very active in 4-H as a child and my children have been members now for a few years. Every summer there is also a week long camp that was the highlight on my year. My kids have loved it too. Last summer, my daughter was diagnosed just a few weeks before camp so it was very stressful (I think I wrote a post about it). So this year I am attending as a counselor. When I was a teenager I thought for sure this was something I would do every year as an adult, now that the time is getting closer I am worried. I love kids but sometimes they overwhelm me. I think as I have gotten older and my kids have grown I have lost some of my patience. I am usually better around other people kids and I know my kids plan to act like they don’t know me so hopefully it will be alright.
Have I been complaining a lot? In truth I am very grateful. Everyone has their share of problem and battles so it’s easy to get caught up in the ‘my situation is worse than yours’ game. The opposite of keeping up with the Jones. So here are some things I am grateful for…I am blessed to still have my mother close by and healthy and willing to help us out with running the kids around and just being with us. I have a wonderful husband who works hard, makes me laugh and still loves me. I have two smart, beautiful children who I love more that I ever thought possible. I have a good job that is challenging, pays well, and has some flexibility to take time off if needed. And while our house is small, it was built by my grandfather about 65 years ago. I was blessed to know all my grandparents even though they have passed on now. I have great memories of our time together. I lost my dad too and though we struggled at times I was a daddy’s girl. He is the one who always sang ‘My girl’ to me and was the inspiration for the name of the blog.
I guess I have always been a less is more type when it comes to Friends. But right now I feel I could use a few closer ones. My childhood friends have moved away and since we moved away then back I’ve lost touch with some of my closest friends or don’t get to see them much. Sometimes I think I’m a friendly person but slighty shy until I get to know someone better. I worry I come off as stuck up when I am really nervous about saying the wrong thing. My kids keep me busy too so it’s hard to develop friendships when you don’t have the time to put into them. Sometimes I wish I had the close girlfriend I could tell anything too like back in high school; someone I could call or text when things get scary or I get sad and need a little pick me up. I do have many acquaintances but it’s not the same.
Everything seems like a cop-out. I think I’m going to have trouble with some of these letters. Since Easter was yesterday that could also work. Even though Easter was later in April last year, my daughter was diagnosed the day after so it’s still a reminder that it’s been almost a year. At first it’s easy to assume that she just ate too much candy or something. I have to admit to being a diabetes dummy. It’s was so difficult to comprehend that is was not just a diet problem but a pancreas problem and that there is no easy fix, but ongoing daily battle with insulin essential to survival. And even though we’ve being doing this for just under a year, it’s still hard to comprehend how EVERYTHING is effected by it and how it changes EVERYTHING in her young life.
When my kids were little I could play some music and get them to have a dance party with me. Now that they are teenagers not so much. I have always loved to dance but really don’t like to do it alone. Now that I’m older I don’t go out to bars and dance anymore either. Every once in a while I get to dance with friends but it’s not enough. Sometimes I just need to dance it out.
My daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes almost one year ago. The word continuous is a good way to describe things. Type 1 diabetes never takes a break, it is something that you really have to deal with in every aspect of your life. What you eat, if you exercise/play sports, when you sleep. Many finger sticks, shots, inserts — daily, weekly, and on and on and on….
One advantage we have been using is the CGM which stand for Continuous Glucose Monitor. This is a device that is attached to my daughter that checks her sugar levels every 5 minutes. It’s a miracle in some ways however it’s not always accurate and when it’s off it’s a nightmare (it almost always happens at night). I am grateful for the technology though and think it really is a live saver, however I am continuously praying for a cure.