Today I am questioning a few things in my life and not quite sure how I am going to handle them yet. Some are personal, some are diabetes related, and some are just general ‘how to deal with a teenager’ questions. Some days are easier than others and some days spiral out of control. I do love my kids and my life so I just need to take a step back and try to find the right answers.
Today I am at a yard sale, I have never been great at having them but this is a group one and I’ve done it a couple of times with a reasonable about of success. I didn’t plan well for this one because there is plenty I could get rid of but didn’t get around too it (i.e. lazy). I have a love/hate with possessions. I really hate clutter but find a hard time getting rid of stuff. Sometimes it’s emotional but sometimes it’s just because I don’t know what to do with it. Throw it in the garbage, resell it, give it away…I know it really not a hard decision but somehow I struggle with it anyway.
I don’t know of my posts reflect this, but for the most part I am a pretty optimistic person. I can go down the rabbit hole with worry but most days I do not. I try hard to not let my daughter get discouraged. I do agree with her that diabetes sucks and I sympathize with her that the inserts/shots/finger pricks hurt but I try not to let her fall into the burn-out that I know can happen. I am sure this will get harder and there will be times that she will rebel and feel the depression that can come with a life-changing diagnoses but I also hope and pray that she will overcome and remain optimistic about her future and the fulfilling life she can have while living with Type 1.
Daughter stayed home from school, not feeling well but just a head cold. Her numbers have been ok. When Type 1’s get sick there is always the worry of how it will effect their blood sugar and the possibility of ketones. I have been very worried this year of her getting sick but so far other than sinuses and colds she’s been ok. As we near the one year mark, I am thankful that we made it without any major mishaps. I hate always having to ask her about her numbers but that’s the new reality of our lives.
I fully admit that I am lazy. When I get motivated to do something, I can and will but finding that motivation is hard. I also think I am easily distracted so if I don’t have a to-do list to get through it doesn’t get done. I am probably not the best influence on my kids because the laziness has been passed down for sure. My daughter often says ‘I don’t feel like getting up to get that’ or ‘can you do it for me.’ She’s 13, she needs to be a little less lazy.
Yesterday was my birthday. I told my kids that it was my day and they had to do what I wanted and not complain. It went about as well as you could expect. Even on my birthday I put the kids first. It’s hard as a parent to take a step back and put yourself first. I did get to do some of the things I wanted/planned but not all and I guess that’s good enough for now.
Last weekend I got to spend quite a bit of time with my new infant nephews. Babies are just so sweet and innocent and lovable. I haven’t been around infants in a very long time and it really is great when you get to hold and snuggle with them then go home for the night. I still get up most nights to check my daughter’s blood glucose levels (it takes its toll on you when you don’t get the consistent sleep) but I do not envy that part of having newborns…and having two at once makes it even more difficult. But that time passes all too fast and soon they move on to the next stage. Some good, some not so great. But in the end you won’t trade it for anything.
4-H: Head, Heart, Hands, and Health. This is on my mind today as I took over as co-leader for the local club and we have a big fundraiser tomorrow. I was very active in 4-H as a child and my children have been members now for a few years. Every summer there is also a week long camp that was the highlight on my year. My kids have loved it too. Last summer, my daughter was diagnosed just a few weeks before camp so it was very stressful (I think I wrote a post about it). So this year I am attending as a counselor. When I was a teenager I thought for sure this was something I would do every year as an adult, now that the time is getting closer I am worried. I love kids but sometimes they overwhelm me. I think as I have gotten older and my kids have grown I have lost some of my patience. I am usually better around other people kids and I know my kids plan to act like they don’t know me so hopefully it will be alright.
Everything seems like a cop-out. I think I’m going to have trouble with some of these letters. Since Easter was yesterday that could also work. Even though Easter was later in April last year, my daughter was diagnosed the day after so it’s still a reminder that it’s been almost a year. At first it’s easy to assume that she just ate too much candy or something. I have to admit to being a diabetes dummy. It’s was so difficult to comprehend that is was not just a diet problem but a pancreas problem and that there is no easy fix, but ongoing daily battle with insulin essential to survival. And even though we’ve being doing this for just under a year, it’s still hard to comprehend how EVERYTHING is effected by it and how it changes EVERYTHING in her young life.
My daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes almost one year ago. The word continuous is a good way to describe things. Type 1 diabetes never takes a break, it is something that you really have to deal with in every aspect of your life. What you eat, if you exercise/play sports, when you sleep. Many finger sticks, shots, inserts — daily, weekly, and on and on and on….
One advantage we have been using is the CGM which stand for Continuous Glucose Monitor. This is a device that is attached to my daughter that checks her sugar levels every 5 minutes. It’s a miracle in some ways however it’s not always accurate and when it’s off it’s a nightmare (it almost always happens at night). I am grateful for the technology though and think it really is a live saver, however I am continuously praying for a cure.