scared and confused

Scared and confused
wondering why us, why now
yes it can be worse
yes it can be managed
yes it just sucks
i don’t feel strong enough
but i have to be for her
i don’t want to tell her my fears
i don’t want to tell anyone
but it hurts to hold it in
i pray cause i need to tell someone
i know i should not worry or but rely on Jesus
i struggle with doing that everyday
sometimes i can forget or not think about it
but then i feel guilty for not thinking about it
i still don’t know enough about it
the things i read scare me more
i have trouble focusing on anything and the thoughts bounce around my head
work, worry, home, worry, sleep, worry, check, worry
plan, plan, plan
wondering why us, why now
scared and confused
Jesus is calling ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself…Trust me, and watch to see what I can do.’

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3 thoughts on “scared and confused

  1. Bless your heart 😦 5 years ago, I could’ve written almost these same words/feelings. My youngest daughter was diagnosed 2 weeks after her 11th birthday. She’ll soon be 16.

    Everything about Type 1 is confusing, scary & overwhelming. In the words of one of my favorite bloggers…”it doesn’t get easier, you get better.” That is so very true! You probably won’t believe me, but in a year’s time you’ll look back on these feelings & be amazed how much you’ve learned…& understand. The fear won’t completely go away, but as your confidence & understanding grow, it will lessen.

    Sending virtual (((hugs))), prayers for peace & strength for you.

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